The Wicked Hitch

Boozy Fruitcake – Christmas Songs About Drinking

The Hitch Herself

It’s my favorite day of the year, which means it’s time for the annual holiday playlist! Christmas is my very favorite holiday, and music is one of my very favorite things, so I blend them into a little gift of Christmas songs for you. This year, it’s a real humdinger!

Boozy Fruitcake*

Well, this has been some kind of a year. Our country is politically divided, sexual harassment allegations have been toppling powerful men, our President is Provacateur-In-Chief, and everyone and their brother has taken to social media to pass judgement. It’s the Age of Finger Pointing. You can’t turn on the news or read a paper without being bombarded with some horrible shit that some dumbass did today. All this has given our collective stress levels a goosing, turning us more frantic and panicky. Add in the holiday stress, and it’s no wonder that many of us are hitting the bottle a little harder than usual this year.

So when I was sitting down to think about the Christmas playlist, I had a hard time coming up with cheery tunes that made me want to celebrate the season. Mostly, I just wanted a drink. Which got me thinking, I can’t be the only one who wants a Christmas Cocktail! Away to my workshop I flew, with the goal of creating a soundtrack for a dive bar on Christmas day. Surely, there must be a wealth of Christmas songs about drinking!

You’d think. But there are surprisingly few decent Christmas songs about getting soused. Oh, there are your novelty tunes like “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer,” but you can only take so much of that, even after a few cocktails. So I pulled in some old favorites that have a boozy air, even if they aren’t directly about the topic at hand. I think I managed to gather together enough to offer you a fairly well-stocked bar for your holidaze.

So, drop this on your music-maker, gather your friends and family, and hoist a few bottles! Tis the season for making merry!

Happy Christmas!

 

Christmas Playlist Rules

Before we get into the tunes, lemme just ‘splain my rules. No good playlist gets made until you have some sort of plan! Here’s how I put this together:

  1. Every playlist has a theme, and the music will be chosen for it’s fit to the theme.
  2. Any standard tune can only appear once per playlist- no one needs to hear multiple versions of “Winter Wonderland” in the space of an hour.
  3. An artist can only appear once per playlist, unless they are playing a supporting role.
  4. Original songs or interesting takes on standards are the goal. I try to steer away from the classics heard on radio and in the mall, but I will use them if they make sense.
  5. I try to never include a song that I’ve used on a previous playlist. There are a few on here. They fit the theme- no apologies.
  6. If I can’t listen to it 100 times, it will not make the list. Sadly, this leaves out a lot of artists.** Be okay with that.
  7. Each playlist will fit on a standard CD. This is ~ 80 minutes of music.

 

Christmas Songs

 

*Or what my family calls me when I’m not in the room.

**Sorry, Elton John. I have no intention of stepping into Christmas.